A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement.
He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife, ‘Mother of Six’, in spite of her objections.
One night they went to a party. He decided that it was time to go home, and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouted at the top of his voice,”Shall we go home, Mother of Six?”
His wife, irritated by her husband’s lack of discretion shouted back, “Anytime you’re ready, Father of Four!”
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A man had six children and was very proud
April 25, 2012
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An older couple, who were both widowed
April 24, 2012
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An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. “How do you feel about s*x?” he asked, rather tentatively. “I would like it infrequently “, she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, “Is that one word or two?”
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An elderly couple
April 12, 2012
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An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. “Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.”
“Heck, Gloria,” the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, “we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn’t heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!”
What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
April 12, 2012
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Q. What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
A. “I love you with all my art!”
Q. What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?
A. Hogs and Kisses!
Q. Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
A. Sure, they’re very scent-imental!
Ability to guess the day
April 12, 2012
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I was telling a girl in the pub about my uncanny ability to guess the day a woman was born just by feeling their breasts.
“Really?” she said. “Go on then… Try.”
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.
“Come on,” she demanded, “What day was I born on?”
“Yesterday?” I replied.
A completely inebriated man
April 12, 2012
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A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.”
Our wasted friend asked, “Officer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?”
“Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. “Let’s go.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, “Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled.”
The monkey of the jungle
April 6, 2012
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A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: “See… here is the monkey of the jungle.”
His wife said laughing, “That’s a CAT …”
He said back to his wife, “I am talking to the cat!”
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You know why women cant drive?
April 6, 2012
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You know why women cant drive?
Because there is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.
