Browsing Posts in Alcohol Jokes

A white guy walks into a bar and asked a black guy for a bl*w job. The black guy beat him up and threw him out of the bar. The bartender then asked, “What did he say to you? The black guy responded I don’t know all I heard is something about a job!!

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points to the guy in the middle, shouting, “Your mom’s the best lay in town!” Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, and the drunk wanders off and up to the bar at the far end. [...]

Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the FDA’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers: WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole. WARNING: Consumption [...]

An Irishman named O’Malley went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked O’Malley in the eye, and said, “I’ve some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month to live.” O’Malley was shocked and [...]

Three Brothers

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A man walked into a bar, sat down, ordered 3 shots of whiskey, drank them, then left. This continued daily for several weeks. Curious, the bartender asked him one day, “Why do you always order three shots of whiskey?” The man answered, “Because my two brothers and I always used to have one shot each, [...]

The Biker

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A guy comes outta a bar one night and theres a cop sitting in the parking lot. The guy staggers a bit, fals down the stairs, gets up and walks over to his bike, gets on and tries to start it. The bike won’t start and he realizes it isn’t his bike afterall. He gets [...]