Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, “Are we venomous?” The other replays, “Yes,why?…” “I just bit ma lip.”
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Browsing Posts in Animal Jokes
Two snakes are talking
March 28, 2010
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House Rules for Dogs and Cats.
March 17, 2010
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Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print belong to you and contain your food. The rest of the dishes belong to me and contain my food. Please note, if you put a paw print in the middle of my plate or food, that does not stake a claim for it. It is [...]
Talking dog for sale
March 17, 2010
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This guy sees a sign in front of a house “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there. “You talk?” he asks. “Yep,” the mutt replies. “So, what’s your story?” [...]
A frog calls a psychic
March 17, 2010
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Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic. A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog says, [...]
This is one smart dog
March 17, 2010
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A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door. “An’ wot’s this then?” he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher’s shins. “You dumb dog.” As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices [...]
Two roaches having a discussion
March 17, 2010
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Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant. “I was in that new restaurant across the street,” said one. “It’s so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere–it’s so sanitary that the whole place shines.” “Please,” [...]
He is a very smart dog
March 17, 2010
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I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head [...]
A magician was working on a cruise ship
March 17, 2010
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A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. [...]
Bearly Laughing
March 17, 2010
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In Alaska’s National Forests, a tour guide was giving a talk to a group of tourists about hiking in grizzly bear territory. “Most bear encounters occur when hikers, being extra quiet along the trails in hopes of viewing wildlife, accidentally stumble into bears. The resulting suprise can be catastrophic,” he explained. To avoid this, he [...]
