Browsing Posts in Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news. Client: Well, give me the bad news first. Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime scene Client: Oh no! I’m ruined! What’s the good news? Lawyer: The good news is your [...]

A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud “thud”, and then he would swerve back on the road. As the truck driver drove along [...]

A divorce court judge said to the husband,”Mr Geraghty,I have reviewed this case very carefully and I’ve decided to give your wife $800 a week.” “That’s very fair,your honour,” he replied. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”

A defendant was on trial for murder in a case where there was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. Knowing that his client would probably be convicted, the lawyer resorted to a trick during his closing statement. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for all of you,” he [...]

Getting a date

No comments

There was a loser who couldn’t get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. The guy said, “It’s simple. I just say, I’m a lawyer.”So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out. After she said “No,” he told her that [...]

Lawyers

No comments

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. “Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beeeeemer!!!”, he whined. “You lawyers are so [...]