The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Talking him aside after class one day, she asked, “Little Johnny why has your school work been so poor lately?” “I’m in love,” the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, “With whom?” “With YOU!” he said. “But Johnny,” she said [...]
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Little Johnny in love
March 17, 2010
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Knowing the Difference
March 17, 2010
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An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, “what the hell was that for?”. She replied, “That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!” As they continued down the road, suddenly the man hit his [...]
Reasons for making / not making love.
March 17, 2010
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Reasons for making / not making love. TO MY DEAR WIFE: During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the [...]
Lettuce and tomato in bed
March 17, 2010
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This guy is nearing the end of his senior year in highschool, unfortunately he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is about 5 or 6. One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun. They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother [...]
Olympic Condoms!
March 17, 2010
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A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. “Olympic condoms?” she blurts. “What makes them so special?” “There are three colors”, he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.” “What color are you [...]
Construction Workers
March 17, 2010
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Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can’t hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning “I”, pointed to his knee meaning “need”, then [...]
A man wearing a mask bursts into a sperm bank
March 17, 2010
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A man wearing a mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shot gun. “Open the safe!” he yells at the girl behind the counter. “But we’re not a real bank” replies the girl. “This is a sperm bank, we don’t hold money”. “Don’t argue just open the safe or I’ll blow your head off!” [...]
