Browsing Posts in Sex Jokes

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Talking him aside after class one day, she asked, “Little Johnny why has your school work been so poor lately?” “I’m in love,” the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, “With whom?” “With YOU!” he said. “But Johnny,” she said [...]

An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, “what the hell was that for?”. She replied, “That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!” As they continued down the road, suddenly the man hit his [...]

Reasons for making / not making love. TO MY DEAR WIFE: During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the [...]

This guy is nearing the end of his senior year in highschool, unfortunately he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is about 5 or 6. One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun. They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother [...]

Magic marker

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A Guy and girl meet at the bar and are instantly attracted to each other. They Party all night, and at the end decide to go back to his place to continue. Once there, they get passionate and start to make out. When the time is right, the girl finds the bedroom, gets undressed and [...]

Olympic Condoms!

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A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. “Olympic condoms?” she blurts. “What makes them so special?” “There are three colors”, he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.” “What color are you [...]

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can’t hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning “I”, pointed to his knee meaning “need”, then [...]

Zipper Down

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A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down, and his fly wide open. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, “Your barracks door is open.” This is not a phrase men normally use, so he went on his way looking a bit puzzled. When he was about done shopping, a man [...]

A man wearing a mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shot gun. “Open the safe!” he yells at the girl behind the counter. “But we’re not a real bank” replies the girl. “This is a sperm bank, we don’t hold money”. “Don’t argue just open the safe or I’ll blow your head off!” [...]