Best Jokes

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys

Jokes — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 16:56:48 +0000

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels.

Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.

The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

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If You Are Married To 1 Of The Twin Sisters

Jokes — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 16:55:23 +0000

A Question asked in a Talent Test:
If You Are Married To 1 Of The Twin Sisters, How wud You Recognize Your WIFE?

The Best Answer
- Why d Hell Should I recognize?

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Do u know the meaning of wife?

Jokes — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 16:52:54 +0000

Husband asks: Do u know the meaning of wife?
‘Without Infomation Fighting Everytime’.
Wife on hearing replies,
It also means ‘With Idiot For Ever’.

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Mark and Martha, two young pharmacists

Jokes — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 16:51:03 +0000

Mark and Martha, two young pharmacists are having a professional discussion at their office. Mark : What do you want this time, with coat or without coat? Martha: Let it be with coating, because I don’t want to release granules earlier. Mark: So, Shall I begin molding? Martha: No, first close the door and window …

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A blonde keeps running back and forth

Jokes — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 17:20:42 +0000

A blonde keeps running back and forth on his driveway checking his mail.
One day her confused older neighbor asks her why is she doing that so often and the blonde replies:
“I don’t understand what’s going on but my computer keeps telling that I’ve got mail!?”

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Why did you bring your cat to school?

Jokes — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 17:19:13 +0000

Teacher:
Timmy why did you bring your cat to school?
Timmy:
Because dad told mom hes gonna eat that pussy when the kids go to school i was just trying to save the cat

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An old man joined world most expensive health club

Jokes — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 17:16:16 +0000

An old man joined world most expensive health club..
As he walked in he saw a beautiful young lady.. He had an erection..
The lady asked the old man did you call me? he says no..
why he asked? the young lady says our club rules says if you have an erection means you are calling me then I must take you in massage you and have s*x with you..
the man was so excited and enjoyed nice s*x..
As soon as he walked out of the room he farted..
A huge man appeared with ten inch d*ck..
asked the man did you call me? the old man no he replied..
the huge man says our rules is that if you fart means you are calling me..
Now I must take you in to do you up!!..
As he finished with him ” the old man went very upset and request refund for his membership the young lady at reception told him you have just joined the club why leaving..
He replied luv i’m just an old man i have an erection once a month n i fart 20 times a day!!!

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Billy stop making ugly faces at other students

Jokes — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 17:13:12 +0000

Teacher: Billy stop making ugly faces at other students!
Billy: Why, ma’am!
Teacher: Because when i was a child, my parents told me that if i kept making ugly faces my face would stay that way!
Billy: Well, i can see you didn’t listen then!

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You have been with me all through the bad times

Jokes — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 17:11:57 +0000

Her husband had been slipping in and out for a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.

When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, “You know what?

You have been with me all through the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me.

When my business fell, you were there.

When I got shot, you were by my side.

When we lost the house, you gave me support.

When my health started failing, you were still by my side.”

She just smiled and held his hand.

He then continued, saying “When I think about it now, I think you bring me bad luck.”

best coma jokes

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Two zebras pondering

Jokes — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 17:16:36 +0000

Two zebras are talking and one asks the other,”Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?” The other replies, “Well I don’t know. You should pray to God about that and ask him.” So that night he did and God replied, “You are what you are.” The next day he said to the other zebra, “I still don’t understand what I am because God just said, You are what you are.” The second zebra responds, “You must be white with black stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is.”

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